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By Jane Korvemaker

John 20:1-18

This Gospel reading from John ends with the most profound statement anyone could ever make: “I have seen the Lord!”

I am struck by the fact that in its literal context, Mary of Magdala is speaking to the disciples, yet analogously Mary is speaking to me. I can almost hear the breathless excitement with which the words are confidently shared to me, I have seen the Lord!

Mary, along with several others, watched Jesus die. There was no doubt of this; his divinity was so emptied out (Phil 2:6-11) it was not perceivable to the human eye, there was no anticipated resurrection. As mighty as Jesus was with God’s favour, dying on a cross was not only considered a curse (Deut 21:22-23), but it also appeared to signal defeat under Roman rule, which had not been overturned by his death.

In her love for the Teacher, we find Mary drawn to the tomb. The second time we find her there, there is something curious that happens:

“When she had said this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus” (Jn 20:14).

They interact and then Jesus says, “‘Mary!’ She turned and said to him in Hebrew, ‘Rabbouni!’” (v.16).

This double turning, if literal, would mean she has placed her back to Jesus again. Clearly that can’t be the case; she’s just recognized her Teacher! Rather, it’s meant to catch our eye and question ourselves: do we understand what John is conveying to us?

Initially, her turn is a physical one and she encounters a figure she does not recognize—an ordinary man, devoid of any apparent glory or heavenly heralds. In this we learn: It’s not enough to see Jesus to recognize him. Jesus then initiates the movement – he calls her by name. Mary. How many times had she heard him call her before? Just as we discern the voices of those dear to us through intimate moments together, so too does Mary recognize Jesus’ voice.

“The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. …and the sheep follow him because they know his voice.” (Jn 10:3, 4b).

“‘Mary!’ She turned and said to him in Hebrew, ‘Rabbouni!’” (Jn 20:16).

Her second turn is in spirit and faith toward her Shepherd. But not just the human Shepherd whom she loved: she recognizes his divinity. The proof for this is her proclamation to the disciples. It is not, ‘I have seen the Teacher,’ nor, ‘I have seen the Messiah,’ but: “I have seen the Lord!” (v.18)

The LORD. Rabbouni is the LORD, the one nailed to the cross. And he is no longer dead, but risen.

I wonder how many times I’ve looked at those around me, seeing ‘only’ their humanity. My children, my spouse, and the unexpected Telus salesperson at the door – how many times has my Shepherd called my name through people such as these, but I’ve turned only once? Remained deaf to the Shepherd’s voice because I do not expect to find him living, least of all living here?

With only one turn, there is not yet salvation. With only one turn, I’m still living in the grief and sorrow at the loss of the one I hoped would redeem us (Lk 24:21). Turning once, I remain blind and deaf to the Shepherd calling me by name out from the sheepfold.

Can I open myself up to hearing his voice in persons so unlikely? in the unknown who stand before me? This Octave of the Paschal Mystery, let’s challenge ourselves to be open to turning twice, so that we, too, might proclaim with our lives to others: “I have seen the Lord!”