By Marrick Kowalski

“I am not worthy, but it is You who makes me worthy,” I whisper to myself and to Jesus in the Eucharist as I open the tabernacle in preparation for a class coming over to the church for a few minutes of Eucharistic Adoration. The students arrive and pick through the table of prayer tools (rosaries, Bibles, various short prayers, and articles on Eucharistic miracles.) They each find their own pew and start to settle in. The same kids that were running around outside merely ten minutes ago on the playground are now kneeling quietly in front of Jesus in the monstrance on the altar, taking some time to just sit, breathe, and rest.

In these moments, I contemplate the lack of quiet and rest in my life and theirs. There is always somewhere to be or something to be doing, going from one place to the next without a second thought. There are assignments due, sports practices to be at, emails to answer, and friends to see. I think of how it is such a blessing to be able to offer the youth a quiet space where they can come as they are and just sit, the only expectation being that they are physically present. What they get out of this experience is how much they put into it.

It might be odd to think of rest as something that needs to be invested in. For so much of my life, I thought that rest was sitting and doing nothing or laying down to have a nap. It wasn’t until 3 years ago that I learnt that resting can be more than a physical thing and that resting is not necessarily passive. I had a run-in with an illness that kept me bedbound for weeks and housebound for months. It made daily tasks hard (if not impossible), and each task required rest before and after. Not only did my body require rest, my brain also required quiet time.

My prayer life had to change from journalling and spiritual reading to just sitting with Jesus in the quiet or reading one to two verses of Scripture. I felt like I had failed in my spiritual life. Nothing was like what it used to be, and it was hard to let go of that comparison. As a missionary who maybe had one day off a week and used that one day to do personal shopping and laundry, it was a difficult transition. I often wonder if the transition would have been easier if I had had a different definition of rest.

Jesus taught me (and is still teaching me) the importance of rest and relaxation in the context of a balanced spiritual life. There is a time to give and a time to be filled, which is different for everyone. Rest is holy work. What rest looks like to you is different than what rest looks like to me.

For me, rest is drinking my coffee outside in the summer mornings. Rest is sitting on the beach with a loved one as the waves roll by. Rest is cleaning my physical space so my mental space can be at peace and not overwhelmed. It is in those ways that rest requires investment. It requires time. It requires a little bit of work so that it can be set up to be as fruitful as possible. That is not to say that sitting down in the chaos of life is not rest – it is – and if that’s what is needed at that exact moment, then do that. But imagine what rest can look like and feel like if we set ourselves up for success beforehand. “The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath.” (Mark 2:27) What if our rest was routine? What if we rested before we were close to burning out?

The summer months are approaching (if they are not already here.) For me, that means time at camp with youth, preparing for Vacation Bible School, and continuing my other various duties, but it is also time for BBQs with friends, days at the beach, and coffee as the sun rises. It means doing household chores before the crazy busy camp and having a clean space so when I come home tired and slightly overwhelmed from being responsible for 70 youth under the age of 11, I will not feel overwhelmed and can take a moment to breathe and to be with Jesus.

True rest is different for everyone, but no one is exempt from needing it. My encouragement to you is to find your balance. If one thing does not work, then try something new! Find ways to fill you in each of the different areas of your life (mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical.) And remember, rest is holy work.

(Stock Photo – Canva)

Marrick currently works as the Youth Ministry Coordinator at Christ the King Parish in Regina. She spent two years serving with NET Ministries (one year in PEI, Canada and one year in Cork, Ireland), and misses being close to the ocean. When she’s not planning youth group, in the schools doing classroom visits, or running retreats, you can probably find her at a local coffee shop or at home working on her calligraphy technique.