(Stock Photo – Canva)
By Holly Gustafson
I don’t consider myself to be a particularly hopeful person, which might come as a surprise to those who know me. I am typically cheerful and not usually thwarted by problems – I know I can usually find a solution to most problems, so I rarely get discouraged, and I tend to be optimistic, even overly so (“It’ll be fine!!! Everything will be fine!!!”).
But this does not necessarily make me a hopeful person. These qualities of cheerfulness or optimism do not automatically give me the virtue of hope – they are often a response to my excessive worry and even despair. The cheerfulness frequently masks concern; the optimism is me trying to convince myself that everything is not actually awful, that this problem is not actually insurmountable, and that all hope is not actually lost.
Nor am I completely devoid of all hope. It’s just that, for me, hope, this elusive virtue, is not an eternal well; hope is not my default attitude, a continuously running current through my life. For me, hope comes and goes.
I am, instead, by default, a worrier, and God grants me, in His mercy, moments of hope that cut through the despair and remind me that Everything is not all terrible. Hope, therefore, is not something that comes naturally to me but something that I have to strive for, pray for, and even practice at. I am not good at being hopeful, but sometimes, when I am reminded of God’s power and love, I can catch a glimpse of hope, just enough to keep me going.
The problem is, as a non-hopeful person trying to have more hope, it’s hard even to know what it looks like to be truly hopeful. For an example of what it looks like to have hope as the default attitude, I look to the saints, and to the spiritual habits that sustain their hope. Here are some habits I noticed, little things to work on in – and practice – in order to grow in hope:
- The Habit of Trust
From my own experience, despair comes from the completely irrational fear that this thing, this issue, this worry of mine, is bigger even than God. He might be able to do great things, but surely He can’t fix this. St. Francis de Sale gives us a prayer to say when the situation feels particularly hopeless: “Be at peace, then, put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations, and say continually: ‘The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart has trusted in Him and I am helped. He is not only with me but in me, and I in Him.’”
- The Habit of Patience
Hopelessness, for me, is often really a lack of patience: I become hopeless when the prayer that I just prayed has not immediately come true before my eyes. In fact, the prayer has already been answered, but I often have to wait for time to catch up to see the results. St. Francis of Assisi reminds us to be patient while we wait: “Lord, help me to live this day quietly, easily. To lean upon Thy great strength trustfully, restfully. To wait for the unfolding of Thy will patiently, serenely… To face tomorrow, confidently, courageously.”
3 The Habit of Prayer
My least favourite advice about how to have hope comes from St. Padre Pio: “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.” It’s a lovely quote, but for those of us who aren’t particularly hopeful and are particularly worry-ful, telling us to simply “hope and don’t worry” doesn’t give us a whole lot to go on. And so I focus on the only word left: pray. In Mark 9:24, a worried father cried out to Jesus, “Lord, I believe; help my disbelief!” and this makes the perfect prayer for the hopeless, like me: “Lord, I hope in you; help my lack of hope!”
Holly Gustafson lives with her husband, James, and their five children, in Regina, where they attend Christ the King Parish. Holly received her Masters in Linguistics at the University of Manitoba, and now pursues her love of language through art, writing, public speaking, and unsolicited grammatical advice. The best advice she ever received was from her spiritual friend, St. Faustina, who told her that when in doubt, “Always ask Love. It advises best.”
