By Patricia Schiissler
There were years when I wasn’t as attentive to my faith as I should have been. God was reaching out to me, but I wasn’t grasping that He was there. I merely went in my own direction. It took time and growth in wisdom before I finally saw what had transpired in the past. Those encounters with God, when relived in memory, didn’t offer any explanation of why the situation turned out in the direction that it did. An earthly explanation didn’t offer any answers.
While I was in my youth, I often felt that I behaved in ways that would cause God to be disappointed in me. I would then hide from Him. In my eyes, these serious offenses were terrible and unforgivable. My mind affirmed that avoiding Church and not dealing with Christ’s teachings would shield me from His sight. There are so many people and worldly problems resting on God’s shoulder that I could discreetly slip under the radar, so to speak. For periods of time, I would convince myself of this inadequate reality.
God granted me years of adulthood to correct this irresponsible way of dealing with my world. Many times I question if years removed from my life span would have left me unfulfilled in my spiritual health and knowledge of God’s love. Thank you, God, for allowing my life the time to grow! Whenever I witnessed something extraordinary, like God healing me from a situation I was afraid of, I would return to loving Him. Soon, though, earthly distractions would remove what was once so overwhelmingly believed.
God has a way of attracting one’s heart; if they leave it open to Him. Since childhood, there was never an evening when I could go to bed and sleep without saying my prayers and talking to God. After a late night of visiting with friends, I could guiltily convince myself to just go to sleep. It only lasted for a few days, and I would return to my prayer life. This prayer life led me back to Church and to receiving the Eucharist! There was never any reason to explain why my world felt completely reversed from negative to positive after leaving Mass. There was a beautiful, amazing change within me.
Receiving God in the Eucharist changed everything about the week to come. Strangely, problems dissolved, and anger/hurt largely disappeared. People that were difficult to work with generally changed to a more pleasant demeanour. What was difficult sorted itself out and became manageable.
I knew in my heart that I wanted more of that. I could only receive what God was giving me by living in relationship with Him. It meant not only my personal prayer time, but attending Church, Reconciliation and especially receiving the Eucharist. I desired God and what He offered. It meant learning and growing in my faith. What started as God getting my attention through lifesaving works, snowballed into the love and growth of desiring everything that He was willing to teach me.
When I receive Him at each Mass that I attend, there is never an absence of the earlier times that I received the Lord. He is always personally absorbed into my heart when I receive the Eucharist. No matter how often I receive the Lord, the wondrous feeling of positive love that I discovered and will continue to discover over my entire lifetime never changes.
(Stock Photo – Canva)
Patricia Schiissler, B.Ed., (nee Hanowski) as a lifelong Roman Catholic, was born, baptized, and received her sacraments at St. Henry’s parish in Melville, Saskatchewan. She began her education in a country, one room school (Wymer) from grades one to four. Education then began at St. Henry’s elementary school, grades five to eight and grades nine to twelve in St. Henry’s high school. Pat worked in the University of Regina library and meanwhile married Terry Schiissler in 1973 (BA, Notre Dame, Wilcox). They have 2 children. She retired from teaching at Regina Catholic Schools after 28 years. Pat studied the Understanding Our Faith series from 1997 to 2002. She then took the Lay Formation Program and was commissioned in 2018. Faith interests and accomplishments include Eucharistic ministry, Proclaimer, RCIA sponsor, Bible study facilitator, Chair, Spiritual Education, Lay Liturgy presider, Synod representative, etc. Pat became an author after retiring from teaching. She wrote and self-published, “God in my Life: How God speaks to me”. For the following two and a half years, she promoted the book while speaking to large numbers of people. There were over 25 evangelizing events across Western Canada. The experience was so meaningful that Pat decided to write and publish her second book,” God for all People: Some Fact, Some Fiction”. It is based on her faith journey relating to stories mainly strangers shared with her. Pat’s website is www.patriciaschiissler.com.
